Brilliant Books Club: The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F**k
The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F**k
By Sarah Knight (Quercus Publishing)
Feeling stressed out or anxious? Weary of your day-to-day routine? So was Sarah Knight until she decided not to give a f**ck. An anti-guru, best-selling humorous take on the wellness industry, The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F**k is Sarah Knight’s attempt to declutter her mind and focus on what is really important.
Keen to give less f**ks, we asked Sarah for her thoughts in the latest Brilliant Books Club.
If you’re stuck in a lift with a cynic, what would you say to encourage them to read your book?
I refer to my books—collectively, the No Fucks Given Guides—as “advice for people who hate being told what to do.” And I’m one of those people! So I would say that we’re kindred spirits and they might get more out of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck than they expect.
What are three lessons you want readers to take away?
That it is entirely possible to stop spending your time, energy, and money on people and things that don’t make you happy—without turning into an asshole.
That other people don’t care as much about how you live your life as you think they do, and therefore a lot of the guilt you feel about setting boundaries and saying no is actually in your own head.
That the true goal here is not “zero fucks given” but rather “giving fewer, BETTER fucks”—i.e., having more time, energy, and money to spend on people and things that do make you happy.
What inspired you to write the book? Was there a particular event/thought which set you in motion?
In 2015, I quit my job as a book editor in New York City, a career I’d been cultivating for fifteen years. I’d been suffering from anxiety, panic attacks, and depression for a while, and I finally decided that in order to get happier and mentally healthier, I was going to have to get rid of the thing in my life that was causing me the most angst—which was “working for a corporation.” I loved my work as an editor, but I hated bureaucracy and focus group mentality, the constant effort of engaging in office diplomacy, and generally having to please ten different people before (if ever) pleasing myself.
It was a huge risk, but I decided I needed to try working for myself, so I spent a year saving up a monetary cushion and then left my job to go freelance (also as an editor). The idea for The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck popped into my head after I read Marie Kondo’s tidying guide of a similar name and realized a fun—and practical—parody of that book would be one that focused on getting rid of all the useless crap crowding up your brain as opposed to your closet or garage. That’s how my theory of “mental decluttering” was born, and five years later, that little parody book has spawned a self-help empire of its own. Life-changing, indeed!
Marie Kondo’s bestseller was a source of much inspiration for Sarah Knight
What’s been the biggest adversity you’ve faced - and what did you learn from the experience?
Honestly, I haven’t faced a lot of adversity in my life. I’ve been lucky to have a stable family and access to all the necessities, a great education, good jobs, a supportive partner, and all of that. The biggest challenges have come from within—from my mental health and my own struggles with anxiety. I finally had to face it head-on and do a lot of work on myself to get out of a terrible, exhausting rut and into the much happier, more productive and stable place I’m in now. I write a lot about self-acceptance in my third book, You Do You, and about anxiety management and problem-solving in my fourth book, Calm the Fuck Down. I suppose the whole No Fucks Given Guides series is in part the story of these personal epiphanies and how I used them to improve my life—and how you can, too.
What piece of advice/wisdom from your book don’t you follow enough?
Ha, I have to tell you, I follow the advice from my first book pretty darn well! Although I do have to periodically clean out my “mental barn,” reassessing what people and things bring me joy—as Marie Kondo would say—and more importantly, which ones annoy, in the parlance of my book. But ten minutes spent thinking critically about what makes you happy and what doesn’t is well worth it for a lifetime of freedom.
What’s the most moving - or strangest - reaction you’ve had from a reader?
I had a wonderful fan letter from a woman who hadn’t read the book herself, but whose 80-year-old mother had recently moved in with her, and she noticed that mom was having a lot of anxiety—mostly about things that, in her daughter’s opinion, “just didn’t matter.” So the daughter bought her a copy of my book and lo and behold, she said her mother is like a new woman—practicing saying “I don’t give a fuck” whenever she starts to feel worried or overwhelmed, and even sharing the book with “the little old ladies in her yoga class.” I loved getting that note!
Which book (by another author) has you changed your life - and why?
It’s pretty clear that Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up has changed my life in ways Ms. Kondo may not have intended, but which were nonetheless extraordinary. I was already a very tidy person before I read it, but I always enjoy finding new ways to organize my life—what I couldn’t have known was what an effect a little Japanese decluttering guide would have on the way I organized my mental space, and then how many people I would reach with these revelations of my own. Today, literally millions of people around the world have read my books, balanced their Fuck Budgets, gotten their shit together, and calmed the fuck down thanks to the fortuitous combination of me quitting my job and coming across Marie Kondo’s book within the same few weeks. Wild!
And, most importantly, what snack keeps you going whilst writing?
Doritos. Always and forever.
Writing brainpower
