Brilliant Books Club: The Upside Of Being Down
The Upside of Being Down: How Mental Health Struggles Led to My Greatest Successes in Work and Life
By Jen Gotch (Gallery Books)
When Jen Gotch, founder of the multi-million-dollar lifestyle brand, ba.do, graduated from college and was back living with her parents, she hallucinated that her skin was green. The result was her first mental health diagnosis. In The Upside of Being Down, Gotch reflects on her experiences as a woman in business, looking at how her struggles with mental health were intimately connected to her creative ventures.
Inspired by her positive outlook, we took some time to ask Jen Gotch some questions for our Brilliant Books Club.
If you’re stuck in a lift with a cynic, what would you say to encourage them to read your book?
If anything, I might just try to sneak it into their bag…or try entering into a conversation about how they are feeling without mentioning the book and see where it leads. I have encountered many cynics (and at times I have been one myself) and what I have come to know is that they are hard to convince, and at times even hard to encourage. Those decisions to change and believe in what we don’t, have to come from within. It’s that whole, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink” sort of thing and I have found that concept to be true over and over again in my life.
Jen discusses her 'favourite rock bottom’ - involving a Darth Vader costume and a champagne bottle…
What are three lessons you want readers to take away?
I think I stopped counting at fifty lessons I would want the reader to take away. Here are a few that feel relevant for our current state of affairs…
Building self-awareness is one of the best things you can do for yourself both personally and professionally, especially if you are struggling with your mental health.
You can always choose to be happy. It is a choice you can make, even in the most awful of circumstances, you can still allow it in and you would find both peace and power in that decision.
In that same vein…
You can’t control the situation, but you can decide how you react to it.
Difficult times are precisely when you have the greatest opportunities to learn about yourself, your mental health, your brain and your body. Our greatest struggles can lead to our greatest successes.
Thoughts are not facts.
What inspired you to write the book? Was there a particular event/thought which set you in motion?
I have been interested in the idea of writing a book since I was a kid - that version most definitely would have been about unicorns. Flash forward forty years and I decided, after having ban.do for about five years, that I wanted to write a book about business. That didn’t pan out, so then I set my sights on writing a self-help book. That also did not pan out. Around the same time, the woman who eventually ended up being my editor, Lauren Spiegel contacted me about writing a book about my struggles with mental health. At the time of her initial inquiry, I was really consumed with the day to day operations at ban.do and felt the timing wasn’t right. It actually took me about four years to commit, and then I ended up with a memoir that was also a business book and a self-help book all in one. Funny how things tend to work out if we let them.
What’s been the biggest adversity you’ve faced - and what did you learn from the experience?
I would say my struggles with mental health have been the biggest challenge. While I was in the thick of it, it was hard for me to see how I could learn anything from the experience. I felt a lot of despair, loneliness, and pain. But as you may have noticed, the subtitle of my book is, “How Mental Health Struggles Led to My Greatest Successes in Work & Life” and that continues to hold true for me every day. A lot of the lessons I learned are noted above. I gained a lot of self-awareness and emotional intelligence that has helped me tremendously, and I have come to understand that the mental health journey is not linear and there isn’t necessarily an end to it. There are just twists and turns, like so much of life and that’s okay. I’ve learned to enjoy the adventure rather than resist it.
What piece of advice/wisdom from your book don’t you follow enough?
I still struggle the most with emotional eating. In the book, I offer up everything I have learned about how to avoid the pitfalls and yet I can still find myself buried in a bowl of pasta bigger than my head numbing out like a spaghetti zombie. I’m working on it, and especially now I’m giving myself a lot of grace.
What’s the most moving - or strangest - reaction you’ve had from a reader?
My mom, who has a major role in the book and in my life, read it in one day and then said, “I thought it was going to be toxic, but it turned out to be tonic.” I loved that sentiment and loved that she felt that way.
Which book (by another author) has you changed your life - and why?
I have read so many life-changing books and continue to do so. But if I had to choose one, I would say The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. This book is about your relationship with your thoughts and emotions. Essentially, it explains how to understand the voice in your head and why you react the way you do. It helped me a lot with my anxiety, among other things. The basic message is “don’t worry, be happy” but explained in a really interesting way. Like we can choose to be happy - a lesson I mentioned above. Chapter 5 on infinite energy is amazing. Chapter 15 on the path of unconditional happiness is also amazing. Who am I kidding? They are all amazing. And his writing is relatively simple and repetitive in the best way possible. I think it is a great point of entry for anyone looking to explore these topics.
And, most importantly, what snack keeps you going whilst writing?
Popcorn with rosemary, dark chocolate and Maldon salt. I wrote a recipe for it back in 2011 - here’s the link.
